WORN but FAITHFUL :)

                              Wyatt petting a snake from Newport Aquarium that visited RMH

This is Wyatt running from me and thinking it is hilarious.

My boys together: Joey and Noah are so good with him. 

Jeremiah felt that way when he cried out in Lamentations 3:49-51 – The tears stream from my eyes, an artesian well of tears, until You, God, look down from on high. You look and see my tears. You listened when I called out, ‘Don’t shut your ears! Get me out of here! Save me! You came close when I called out. You said, ‘It’s going to be all right.’ “You took my side, Master – You brought me back to life!

I am officially WORN. I find myself tearful about everything, my heart is heavy, my bones are weak, I am anxious and tired. I am homesick and feeling alone.

This reminds me to remain diligent in my FAITH and rely in the one thing that has got me through the last few years PRAYER. Such a powerful and simple tool that so often gets overlooked. I pray about everything regularly, but have I reached out and prayed for myself and my strength?  Nope and here I am WORN. How easy it is to forget that finding the time, not finding but forcing the time to be with the LORD is the time we NEED to find the comfort we so DESIRE. If we truly commit to praying and listening to him, we will find him. He is there. He has always proven himself to me. As if he had not already by dying on the cross for us, to bare our sins, our struggles.  He never feels overwhelmed, he can shoulder the bourdens of the world,  he died for us so we could turn to him in our time of need. 

Jeremiah prayed until streams of tears came from his eyes. He did not stop or even rest, he would not stop until the Lord looked down upon him. Jeremiah decreed, “I will cry unto God until he sees from heaven”. Jeremiah was praying not only for himself, but for his family and friends and the people in his city. Jeremiah declared before God” What my eye sees upsets my heart, and I am upset because of what happened to all the people in my city”. If we love God’s people as we should, their troubles will make us really sad, and we will petition before God on their behalf.

This especially struck me this weekend. I am surrounded by such hurt and am some cases hoplessness. This is a house full of parents and relatives of children that are sick, hurting and in some cases dying. Everyone's stories weighing heavy on my heart almost to the point that I would rather stay in my room then venture out and meet a new family or hear more stories. I spent sometime with a grandmother who knows the Lord by has lost all hope. I was able to speak to her in length about how powerful he is and how he has worked in our lives. I would like to think it helped. How said it would be to NOT have FAITH. How do those parents/relatives live day by day. If I am drained but full of Gods GRACE and HOPE, how they must feel not having that.

Turning to the BIBLE tonight for the guidance and the STRENGTH I need to keep going and GRATEFUL that my FAITH has never wavered. 

Wyatt is much happier. He laughs and plays and is running around this place like he owns it. He is sleeping well (no naps) and still watching DORA every chance he gets. 

We had another trip to the Emergency room on Saturday as one of his wires broke connecting the device to the pin in his jaw. Unfortunately the Plastic guy on call didn't really know what to do and I found out today when I went for a check up he did not tighten the tension enough. I am told not to worry that it "shouldn't" effect anything but of course I am feeling a bit frustrated. I was able to get back and tighten it a bit myself which he did not like but they were happy the bone to solidify enough yet preventing me from turning. 

I was reminded this last week why it was important to be here at the Ronald McDonald House. Between the NG tube, the wires, the pin sites and watching how Wyatt is with Joey and Noah. He is a risk taker when they are around which he can not be with this devise. It is funny because I have been trying to make excuses as to why going home would be better and every time I start to think about that something happens. I guess I should stop thinking that and maybe things will stop happening. It is another example of how God answers us in ways we least expect we just have to listen. 

Wyatt is funny he keeps trying to take the devise off as if he could. He will pull at the top and at the pin sites, which hurts him but he is diligent about wanting it off. He will say "Take this off". I feel bad but applaud his efforts and understand the want for it to be removed. Since he has been feeling better he has been wanting to eat and drink which is difficult for me to tell him no and difficult for him to understand why? He hates being hooked up to the feeding tube he keeps trying to figure out how to unhook it and he will sign "please" which breaks my heart. 

My original plan of potty training him and teaching him a lot of signs has gone out the window and makes me laugh thinking about our time here thus far. Let's just say priorities are different, and I will say he know more signs then I thought he did and now that he can't talk he is relying on them. 

So I am on my own this week, but I see the end. :) Next Monday his surgery is at 11am, we have to be there at 9:30am. There is a lot riding on this surgery. The Doctor needs to be able to remold the jaw with the bone they gained making it proportionate and allowing Wyatt the ability to close his mouth and swallow so he can eat again, without loosing the airway we gained from the distraction and without needing to go back and do an upper jaw distraction just like the lower. Also the ENT will go in and remove the adenoids, scope the airway and see if any of the excess cartridge needs to be removed. Then we pray for fast and safe healing and home we go by mid to late week next week.

Today I have a lot of important prayer requests;

Please pray for my niece Natalie who is 2 (a week younger then Wyat) and has had to have 2 surgeries to scrape out an infection that she has in her hip. Please pray that it heals, has not spread to her bones, she can begin to bare weight, and for the entire family to be reunited as we certainly understand the burden of being apart. 

Please pray for Tony and I that we can find our relief to our burden through prayer and remember" We can accomplish all things through Christ who strengthens us. "

Please pray for Joey and Noah who are feeling just as WORN as we are and cried themselves to sleep lastnight missing their mom and baby brother. Please pray for their strength and the power to feel our love from a distance. 

That Wyatt may understand or be less frustrated at his inability to eat, drink or talk. 

That the surgeons working on Wyatt Monday have the POWER of GOD ALMIGHTY behind them as they perform the work we intended all along.

For all the families who are apart due to illnesses, that they may gather the strength needed to carry on and be the best they can for their family. That they can rely on our LORD for strength and feel the HOPE that only he can bring. I can tell you families are stronger together and I see why the vow to be together forever is important and true. 

In closing I am copying from Darrell Creswell as he  writes so eloquently what Jesus has done for us. 

Jesus carried the sins of the world on His shoulder, and laid down his life for us that He may bear our sorrows, carry our burdens and renew our strength. He is never overwhelmed or inadequate to supply our needs.

Let your heart shout with joy in our wondrous God. It is only God who can make all our failures regenerative. He will raise you up – just as He himself rose from the grave. It is He who is God of risings again, and it is He who wants to give you a fresh start. We stand assured in Christ Jesus, serving a God of genesis and re-genesis. He takes all your life’s pain and sorrow, and bears them in His blood, leaving them dead and decomposing.  God will refresh your world with spiritual dew, and He will hydrate your broken, shattered heart with his renewing spirit. He will lift you up, restore you and bring you back to life.

John 10:10 Jesus said -I have come that you might have life. My purpose is to give you a rich, happy and satisfying life.

Love From Cincinnati,

Melissa and Wyatt